In Order to Give, Receive
We have all heard the saying it is better to give than receive. But I believe that in order to give, you need to first receive-from yourself. It’s so important to fill your own cup so that you then can give to others around you. Taking care of yourself first helps you to create harmony in all areas of your life, reduces anxiety, stress, and overwhelm, increases your self-confidence and esteem, and allows you to make a bigger difference in the world around you. So how can you make sure you have the energy, time, love, and care to give to others? First, you need to learn to be present in the moment by practicing mindfulness. When you do, you can really focus on what-and who-is right in front of you. Being mindful helps alleviate stress and worry about both the past and the future, by keeping you in tune with the here and now. Our energy is drained when we are constantly anxious about what might happen, and regretful or otherwise dwell on what did happen. And that lack of energy in ourselves means we have less energy to give to others. It’s also important to practice self-love by giving yourself grace. When you catch yourself being your own worst critic, remember that we are all on a continual journey of growth. Practice using affirming statements that start with the words “I am” in response to any critical self-talk you experience. Those words give your brain a message that you are becoming that person you want to be, so that rather than beat yourself up for not being so perfectly on time or organized, your mind will work to help make what you want happen. Every situation is a chance to learn, grow and become better, so don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect. Instead, strive to constantly learn and improve along the way. The next thing you need to give yourself in order to receive is energy. Guarding your own personal energy is key to being able to give it away to others. Take a look at the people-and technology-you spend the most time with. Be intentional with who and what you give your time to, and make a list of your top influences and rate them on whether they are positive, neutral, or negative. They are positive if you feel better about yourself as well as the world around you when you are done spending time with them. Neutral just means you feel the same as you did before the interaction, and negative means you feel worse about yourself and the world when you leave them. You may be surprised at the answers. Now that doesn’t mean you have to cut something or someone out of your life completely. But it does mean you may need to alter your interactions a bit. For example, perhaps you avoid those triggering political conversations with your dad, or you filter what you see on some of your social media accounts to lessen the negative impact on your mood. Surround yourself with positive people and conversations, and you in turn will have much more energy and a better outlook on life. Another way to give yourself the energy you need to give to others is to make sure you are aligned with your values. Keeping your focus clear on what you want most in life, will help keep you distracted by the bright shiny objects you may want right now, but aren’t fueling you. Make decisions on what is best for you long term, and choose your goals based on your values. When you truly know what you want in life, you can be intentional about your daily activities and make sure they are getting your closer to those goals and ultimately fulfilling your purpose. Stand strong in your values and the changes you want to see around you. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals and take care of yourself so that you can have the strength and stamina to lead and give back to others. The last way to make sure you give to yourself first is through self-care. Take the time each day to be still and reflect on your experiences and what you can learn from them. Search within yourself for the answers and tap into your own inner wisdom. Make sure to rest and recharge by giving yourself a power hour each day just for self-care. Set aside time just for you do to literally anything that brings you joy, peace and relaxation. During that time, give yourself the gift of gratitude. Living in gratitude literally changes our brains and improves our mental and physical health. Develop the habit of being mindful and appreciative about what you have in your life and what you get to do, as opposed to all of the negatives and what you have to do.